My how dating has changed

October 18, 2015

There are a lot of reasons why dating is different for me this time around. The biggest difference is that I am now a mom. Letting someone into my life carries a lot more consequences than before. There are also those minor details around being older, having a body of someone that has carried two children, having little to no online datingtime, etc.

In addition to the changes in my life, how dating happens and how people meet has changed immensely. The majority of people participate in online dating. There are so many sites/apps out there it is very overwhelming. There was a big learning curve in this area for me. What pictures do you use? What do you say about yourself? You want to share but not too much. Is it witty? Is it too sarcastic?

Once you get past all of the profile stuff, what happens when you actually come across someone you want to meet? Where do you meet? What do you wear? Did you remember to give someone his contact info and tell them where you are going (for safety)?

Having a child with a disability adds yet another layer of complication. When do you tell someone? How do you tell someone?

I started dating again about a year ago. I’ve tried numerous dating sites. And been on many “meet and greets” (a quick drink or cup of coffee to see if it should progress to a first date) and dates. There have been some great ones and some awful ones. Most fall somewhere in the middle. I have yet to meet anyone I’m comfortable enough with to introduce them to the kids.

I think the hardest part of dating later in life is baggage. My baggage AND their baggage. I have a hard time trusting anyone. I’ve been hurt, cheated on, lied to, etc. And most guys out there looking to date have dealt with similar situations.

When I put it all together in a list like this it seems hopeless. Yet I still try. I try because I miss it. Because I get lonely. I have a lot of amazing friends and that helps, but it isn’t the same.online4

To all of you single moms and dads out there…. Good luck. Don’t lose hope. There are good guys and gals out there.


So, its been a while

October 5, 2015

Last week my Timehop was a post from this blog. I thought to myself, why did I stop posting to this blog? Well, I just opened it up and saw my last post was almost exactly two years ago. Then it hit me, I know exactly why this fell off of my list of priorities. For the last two years I had been going through a separation/divorce. The world as I knew it fell apart…. again. The first time was when I received Owen’s diagnosis. The second time was finding out my marriage was failing.

12079061_10205294225174535_5225960126804241657_nA lot has changed over the last two years. Owen, Laney and I moved into an apartment. That was a pretty big adjustment. I had to learn to get by on my own. Learn to cook for just the three of us. Adjust to living in a much smaller place. It was a roller coaster. I had days where I thought, I got this!!! And days that I thought, I don’t know if I can do this. In the end, one thing is true… There is no choice. I have to be strong for myself and for the kids.

Sparing everyone the gory details, we have survived the divorce. We are getting used to the new “normal”. Learning to “co-parent”. The kids are getting used to the time split between my place and their dad’s. I’m getting used to actually having some time to myself.11229548_10205032687956268_814519538531057731_n

Owen is doing great in school. He is in Second Grade now. He has been at the same school for the last two years. Owen still loves reading and has an amazing memory. He has been doing simple math problems (given two answers to choose from).

Laney is growing up so fast. She has been such a help through all of this. I try really hard not to depend on her too much. She is amazing though. People can’t believe she is only 3. Laney is very smart, articulate and caring. Always looking out for her brother.

I’m going to try to revive this blog. It is going to take on a slightly different twist now as our family has changed so much. I know too many fellow mom’s of children with special needs going through divorce. Hopefully sharing what is going on will at least help them feel like they aren’t alone.12032928_10205279892416225_7549946265971191151_n(1)



Balancing Act

October 7, 2013

Over the weekend we went to stay with my parents. One thing we always do when we are there is go on a golf cart ride around town. My parents live in a small town where almost everyone uses their golf cart to get around town.

1383931_10200807474648576_1012286080_nWhile we were out on our ride we decided to visit one of the walking (made with hedges) labyrinths in town. I took Owen with me. Carrying him on my hip, we made our way through the maze. After a few minutes of getting my arms scraped by the bushes I decided we needed to try something else. So, I lift him up and throw him on my shoulders.

This is something we have tried numerous times with Owen over the years. He never quite grasped the concept. He would usually lose his balance or just go limp and lean over your head. Not this time though. He straightened up and enjoyed the ride. I couldn’t believe it.

Granted he was still a stinker. He put his hands over my eye, pulled me hair, etc. But for the most part it was great. I just held onto his knees and he was good to go. I was shocked.

It isn’t the easiest thing to do with an almost 6 year old kid. But it is great to have another option.

Owen never ceases to amaze me. To some it might seem like he is progressing so slow compared to other “typical” kids. But to us he is growing up at warp speed.

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What did you do today?

September 20, 2013

I would say I have easily asked Owen the question, “What did you do today?” a hundred thousand times. The normal response is a smile. Then I follow up with, “Did yooooouuuu play with your friends?… No? Did yoooouuuu use the computer?… No?” and so on. Sometimes you would see a twinkle in his eye or see a physical response when you hit on something they did during the day.1150636_10200499509549641_1334549541_o

Today the usual conversation happened. “Owen, Did you have a good day today?…. What did you do today at school?”

This time I actually got a response! If I wasn’t paying attention I wouldn’t have caught it. He responded to me the same way I ask him, but was telling me the things he did today. He said, “Did yoooouuuu library?…. Did yoooouuuu Shipp’s (special ed teacher) room? Did yoooouuu Egeling’s (gen ed teacher) room?” He said a few others that I didn’t quite understand. But in his way he was actually telling me what he did today!

This was a huge deal. We were having a bit of a conversation. It was so exciting. I am still shocked. And to think if I hadn’t really been paying attention I would have thought he was just mimicking what I usually ask him.

He truly amazes me!



September 12, 2013

Today I went to Owen’s school to talk to his Kindergarten class. I wanted to tell them a little more about Owen and allow them to ask questions. His teacher had indicated that some of the kids in his class were still apprehensive when it came to interacting with Owen. So we all thought it would be a good idea for me to come in and talk to the class.

601759_4898427497913_1331105485_nIt was a lot of fun. First I showed the kids some pictures of Owen doing some fun stuff. Things like riding his bike, dressed up for Halloween, riding his horse, etc. The kids got really excited to see him doing things that they do.

Then I talked about some of the best ways to interact with Owen and what some of his gestures mean. I told them that when he gets loud it is just because he is excited. Also, that if they are trying to share something with him that they might need to ask him a couple of times and wait a little longer than normal.

We also talked about Owen’s walker and his wheelchair. We talked about why Owen couldn’t talk or walk and why he wears braces on his feet.

Then I let the kids ask questions. And boy did they have questions. They asked me how Owen slept at night. They asked if he liked video games, if he liked dinosaurs and what he is going to be for Halloween this year.

Overall I would say it was definitely a success. When we were leaving several of the kids said goodbye to Owen. You could tell that this wasn’t the norm. Hopefully they will interact with him more now and not be nervous.


Where have I been?

September 6, 2013

Well, things have been CRAZY! Hence the name of the blog. :)

Owen is now a kindergartener. It is so hard to believe that my little boy is such a big kid.

KindergartenThis momma had a really hard time with that first day of kindergarten. It’s a new school, new staff, new kids… I was scared for Owen. Thinking about the fact that he couldn’t tell people what he needed, wanted or felt.

Also, as a mom of a young special needs child, I try to avoid thinking too far in the future. It’s scary. That’s where my mind went seeing him at his new school. I started thinking; Will he be able to be independent? Will he be able to walk? Will he go to a typical high school? And so on and so on.

Needless to say that was a really tough day for me. When he finally got home from school I just wanted to grab him, hold him and never let him grow up. Luckily that smile quickly brings me back to the present.


My little helper

November 6, 2012

Owen has never really been a kid that “wanted” to help. I always have to try hard to get him involved with the types of things his peers are.

I have seen tons of lists of chores your special needs child can help with. Most of them are not appropriate for Owen. I think it is really important for him to learn a sense of responsibility.

Today I had Owen with me at the grocery store. For the most part he just hangs out and rides along.

As I was getting ready to start bagging the groceries it occurred to me it might be a good opportunity for Owen to help. So, I took him out of his wheelchair and sat him on the counter. I handed him the groceries one at a time and had him put them in the bag.

He didn’t make it through the whole cart, but bagged 3 or 4 bags. He thought it was hilarious. It definitely took longer than normal, but I think we will do it more often. It was good for him.


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